The helium up my ass

It’s been a long day. I throw myself onto the couch. I sigh in relaxation. I start expanding, like a balloon. Kyllan and Konan show up. I realize there is a pipe inserted into my anus. It’s pumping gas into my gut. I will kill those two little shits. I am floating. I feel lightheaded. Why am I thinking about Rick Sanchez? Why is saliva constantly dripping from his mouth but we never see it drop? I think about our latest adventure. We met Cain and Abel. Cain was a twat but also very funny. Abel was sexy. He had a third nipple and wanted to swap one of his animals for Konan. Took a while to convince him that Konan is not food but a sentient creature like us even though she has the shape of a human boob. Also, god would be cross if Abel sacrificed a literal tit. Konan and Kyllan seem to be distracted. I pull out the helium pipe from my anus. I fart out the helium and some methane too. Thankfully only I can smell it. I farted too quick which led to me falling fast to the ground and spraining my foot. I am yet to come up with a punishment for my two roommates. That was a shit experience.