The pineapple on pizza

I am so sorry because this is neither about pineapples or pizza. I have been horny all day. Kyllan can't help, he is a fucking robot. Konan is an alien tit with no idea how to satisfy humans even though she has 5 nipples. Those nipples are as useless as the human appendix. I should …

Sigh! It’s just my period!

I absolutely hate Kyllan and Konan right now. I want to poke that little tit Konan and drain her of all her milk. I would puncture her with the sharpest needle let her drain slowly without knowing the source of the leakage. That's horrible. I'll just take her to a bouncing castle with rowdy children. …

Bee Stings and Stars

We were lying on the rooftop of my loft watching the stars. Kyllan had some lovely stories to tell me, mostly about cloning himself, taking over homo sapiens and being their supreme leader. He seems to be very talkative today and when I mentioned it he told me to cut him some slack because being …

It is strangle time

On a random Saturday, while covering for Konan at work because she had to go to her planet for a bit. Hi How may I be of service. Strangle me please. Pardon I would like to purchase a crop top Pardon I would like to purchase a crop top Pardon I would like to purchase …

Killing “Synergies” and his corporate friends

Kyllan showed up earlier than I hoped. I sent him and Konan to the tailor to have some clothes made for Konan. I can't stand her being naked around the house anymore. They walk in to find strangers tied up on the floor. I hoped to have finished with my hostages by the time they …

Abel is alive and Cain is shrewd!!

Kyllan and I bought two parrots. The older parrot, Cain, became a farmer. The younger parrot, Abel, was a shepherd. I made this miniature farm for them in their cage. Each parrot brought a sacrifice to me, their supreme leader. Cain brought some of his harvests, and Abel brought the best of his flock. I …

The helium up my ass

It's been a long day. I throw myself onto the couch. I sigh in relaxation. I start expanding, like a balloon. Kyllan and Konan show up. I realize there is a pipe inserted into my anus. It's pumping gas into my gut. I will kill those two little shits. I am floating. I feel lightheaded. …

Another weird day

The hormonal shit happening in my body is on a whole new level. I snoozed my alarm clock for a bloody three hours. Thank goodness I did not have any work backlog. I do have a presentation tomorrow. The point of waking up early was to go through my documentation. I have to make sure …

Religion, Kyllan and I

DISCLAIMER: This post was originally written for my other blog. I edited it to include Kyllan for this one. Religion: Hey babes Me: Hey hey. What are you doing here? Thought I got rid of you. Kyllan: The fuck is that twat doing here!! I am no mood for a fight. Religion: Your mama keeps …

Getting Konan back

After poking herself with needles, Konan is still alive. Thank goodness. I would not have liked it if she died. She is not happy that I took away Kyllan's attention from her. I also can't believe that my plan worked. However, I need her back on my side. It's been so long since I had …