Kyllan and I are in the lab, seated side by side, staring at the ceiling and remembering Michael. We declared him persona non grata with our world. Since I am off my medication that was meant to fix my neurochemicals, I am revisiting all the decisions I made when my neurochemicals were not working right. Kyllan suggests reinstating Michael’s status in the family hence the ceiling staring and the blasting of Two Steps from Hell’s Strength of a Thousand Men.
We get interrupted by a knock on the door. I check my security cameras. It is a delivery man. I send Kyllan to get the food that I had ordered. Kyllan passes Konan in the living room. She is bouncing her tit ass off the floor. He gets to the door, opens it, aggressively snatches the food from the poor delivery man and shuts the door.
He gets to the living room. Konan and I are playing. I am on the floor and Konan is now bouncing on me. She is such a squishy tit. We stop bouncing as soon as we see Kyllan is back. Konan, is rather famished from all the bouncing and decides to eat everything in one gulp.
Two weeks later
The world is in shambles. Nobody can lie. Marriages have been broken. All of social media has shut down. Governments are not quiet on everything unless it is the truth. There are no more advertisements on television. Politicians cannot campaign anymore. Parents can no longer lie about where children came from. Religious people are having the toughest time as they come to the realization that faith and truth are not synonymous.
This is all happening because Konan has become BULLSHIT MAN. Remember all the food she ate two weeks ago after spending all day bouncing? Yes, turns out there was something in the food that gave her powers to detect bullshit. So, every time a human on planet earth lies, Konan appears in front of them, shouts BULLSHIT! and then sticks one of her nipples into their mouths so they shut up.
Does the fact that I don’t want to remove my tattoos make me a bad daughter?
My mum insists I should make her happy by removing my tattoos. Should I be responsible for her happiness?
She says, “If you love me, you will remove those tattoos.” Why would she say this? I don’t understand. I love her. In fact, I would resent her if I removed my tattoos because of her.
As her daughter, should I care about her happiness more than mine?
P.S. My mum is very religious. I would categorise her with Bible thumping idiots.
She basically said that she owns me and has the right to decide what I do with my body. I feel infantilized.
My tattoos are all math related because I love mathematics, nothing sinister here.
“If I knew we would fight about this I would never have participated. Pick a name already Kyllan. I don’t care which one, I just want to get back to my work.” I shout at Kyllan.
“Yes. Oh, my supreme leader. Thank you for this honour. I will not let you down Tit.” Kyllan mocks. When did he learn how to mock people? His learning rate has been increasing at an exponential rate. It’s very impressive and unexpected. I will have to check him out after this.
Kyllan looks at the paper with names printed out. He mentions a name on the list, then squeezes Tit’s telepathy nipple for approval. 20 names down the list, seems like Tit is not impressed. At some point, Tit must have been so angry at one of the names that she/he turned one of her/his telepathy nipples into a needle and poked Kyllan. The tit can solidify itself into a weapon. That’s a pretty handy feature to have. It is impressive, who knew the cute tit could turn itself into a weapon!!
In the end, they settled on Konan. I kinda like Konan too. It reminds me of the Akatsuki; my favourite villains. I would do anything to meet Hidan and Itachi. Tit choosing the name Konan is a little eerie for me. I could be harbouring a supervillain. Would be kinda funny if Earth was attacked by boobs because of me.
It’s official, we are now a family of Chebet, Kyllan and Konan. This great occasion demands the use of some illegal drugs. We should probably figure out Konan’s gender too.