Just another day torturing my colleague

I should do this again, with Kyllan.

Retired Brain

I am feeling dark today, so I have set all my gadgets to a dark theme so it matches my heart and create the best possible mood for my ensuing thoughts.

My very incompetent micromanaging racist colleague is at it again. What shall we do to her today?

I know a chemist that owes me a favour. Time to collect some helium gas.

As soon as she gets home, she will find me waiting for her in her bedroom. I will be behind the door. As soon as she opens the door to the bedroom, I will shut it behind her and knock her out.

While she is unconscious, I will carry her to her bed and have her lie on her tummy.

I will:

  1. Pull down her pants to expose her flat buttocks.
  2. Pull out my phone from my pocket and play the Vagina Song by Pig Vomit.

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The pineapple on pizza

I am so sorry because this is neither about pineapples or pizza. I have been horny all day. Kyllan can't help, he is a fucking robot. Konan is an alien tit with no idea how to satisfy humans even though she has 5 nipples. Those nipples are as useless as the human appendix. I should … Continue reading The pineapple on pizza

Sigh! It’s just my period!

I absolutely hate Kyllan and Konan right now. I want to poke that little tit Konan and drain her of all her milk. I would puncture her with the sharpest needle let her drain slowly without knowing the source of the leakage. That's horrible. I'll just take her to a bouncing castle with rowdy children. … Continue reading Sigh! It’s just my period!

Bee Stings and Stars

We were lying on the rooftop of my loft watching the stars. Kyllan had some lovely stories to tell me, mostly about cloning himself, taking over homo sapiens and being their supreme leader. He seems to be very talkative today and when I mentioned it he told me to cut him some slack because being … Continue reading Bee Stings and Stars

It is strangle time

On a random Saturday, while covering for Konan at work because she had to go to her planet for a bit. Hi How may I be of service. Strangle me please. Pardon I would like to purchase a crop top Pardon I would like to purchase a crop top Pardon I would like to purchase … Continue reading It is strangle time

Killing “Synergies” and his corporate friends

Kyllan showed up earlier than I hoped. I sent him and Konan to the tailor to have some clothes made for Konan. I can't stand her being naked around the house anymore. They walk in to find strangers tied up on the floor. I hoped to have finished with my hostages by the time they … Continue reading Killing “Synergies” and his corporate friends

Abel is alive and Cain is shrewd!!

Kyllan and I bought two parrots. The older parrot, Cain, became a farmer. The younger parrot, Abel, was a shepherd. I made this miniature farm for them in their cage. Each parrot brought a sacrifice to me, their supreme leader. Cain brought some of his harvests, and Abel brought the best of his flock. I … Continue reading Abel is alive and Cain is shrewd!!

The helium up my ass

It's been a long day. I throw myself onto the couch. I sigh in relaxation. I start expanding, like a balloon. Kyllan and Konan show up. I realize there is a pipe inserted into my anus. It's pumping gas into my gut. I will kill those two little shits. I am floating. I feel lightheaded. … Continue reading The helium up my ass

Another weird day

The hormonal shit happening in my body is on a whole new level. I snoozed my alarm clock for a bloody three hours. Thank goodness I did not have any work backlog. I do have a presentation tomorrow. The point of waking up early was to go through my documentation. I have to make sure … Continue reading Another weird day

Religion, Kyllan and I

DISCLAIMER: This post was originally written for my other blog. I edited it to include Kyllan for this one. Religion: Hey babes Me: Hey hey. What are you doing here? Thought I got rid of you. Kyllan: The fuck is that twat doing here!! I am no mood for a fight. Religion: Your mama keeps … Continue reading Religion, Kyllan and I